The Roommate's Advice

My college roommate gave me one piece of sex advice. It took me twenty years to take it.

After a year of late-night talks, she’d noticed something I hadn’t.

Alone, I always knew exactly what I liked. She said it plainly: “So have him do what you do.”

When the OMGYES researchers asked thousands of women, they found she’d guessed the heart of it: what each of us already does on our own is the map.

Your own way isn’t a fallback. It’s the instruction manual.

Women: the moves you’ve never thought twice about have names, and plenty of women have found easy ways to share theirs.

Partners: ask to be shown, not told. It may be the most flattering question you ever ask.