A Dimmer, Not a Switch

For years I treated sex like a light switch: on, then done. The night I learned it’s a dimmer, everything got brighter.

In the OMGYES research, thousands of women talked about the stretch before the peak, and plenty described turning it up, easing it back, then turning it up again on purpose. The research calls it Edging, and 67% of women say they like it. I’d always rushed that part, sure the point was getting there.

Not a delay on the way there. It was the good part all along.

Women: if you’ve ever wished the slow middle would last longer, you’re not holding anyone up. Most women feel the same, and the research is full of ways to stretch it.

Partners: easing back isn’t losing ground. For most women it’s what makes the rest land harder, and learning how she likes it paced is a very welcome skill to bring.