2024-03-13 Anxious Control introvid
I never tell my partner what I'd like differently in bed. New research showed that's normal. And can change.
This is kind of a breakthrough for me. I often get bored and anxious during the part that’s focused on me, and end up cutting it early and switching to something else I know my partner likes in order to keep things moving and keep my mind engaged.
This is a mistake.
It teaches my partners that I don’t want that. When the truth is that I do want it. In fact I really need it. Just not the exact ways he was doing it.
I just found out this is totally normal. And that's let us move past it.
From new research, I just found out that the majority of women feel this same exact thing and do this exact same thing!
Often for their entire lifetimes. OR for most of their lifetimes until they realize what they like and that it can be possible (and comfortable) to get their partners to do those things.
It's is a clear pattern that emerged when they asked enough women
The idea behind OMGYES is stupid-simple. These researchers were fed up with made up sex-tip misinformation out there. They partnered with IU and Yale researchers, and asked 20,000 women what specifically they discovered that made their pleasure better, they found the patterns, and put them on a website.
Here's their intro video:
I had a pretty good grip on what didn’t feel good before OMGYES. But I didn’t have a way of doing anything about it except saying, "lighter." Now I know what to insist on him doing differently. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it really helps me demand more to have thousands of other women backing me up who had the same anxieties and confusions about this stuff.
Worth it?
I’d say, based on my experience, that every single woman and every man who likes women should invest in OMGYES. Like, now. It's a one-time thing where you pay once and keep it. You can go back to it your whole life.
Think of it like a window into the collective things women experience but don't say in bed. And the things we want but don't now how to ask for or even that it's possible to ask for them.
If you do buy OMGYES, please use one of my links to support me and my effort getting the word out.