2024-03-13 Anxious Revision 1, saved for archival

I get anxious in bed during the part where he’s focused on making me feel good.

Because it’s almost always either too rough, or in the wrong spot, or not something I’m ready for yet.

And so what do I do? I end up ending it early and switching to something I know he likes in order to keep things moving. 

Now I see this is a mistake. It teaches my partner that I don’t want that. When the truth is that I do want it. In fact I really need it. Just not the way they’re doing it.

All these years, I’d been keeping us from figuring out what would work for me.

And Holy Moly It’s Totally Normal.

In OMGYES - I saw that most women do this same thing - often for most of their lives. Until they find a way to name the things they like, and ask for them.  Lots of the women on the site said they realized later in life, when they gave less of a hoot they might hurt the guy’s ego.

Hitting Fast Forward on My Sex Life

The idea behind OMGYES is stupid-simple.  Researchers from IU and Yale took the lessons learned in 20,000 women’s lifetimes, and boils them down so we don’t have to learn them the hard way.I had a pretty good grip on what didn’t feel good before OMGYES. But I didn’t know what to insist on him trying instead.  Maybe it shouldn’t, but it really helps me demand more to have thousands of other women backing me up.

Worth it?

I’d say, based on my experience, that every single woman who can’t or doesn’t show their partner what they want should invest in OMGYES.  And every man who likes women should buy it, too. Like, now. Think of it like a window into things we’re thinking but not saying, not because we don’t want to, but because we don’t know how (yet.)

If you do buy it, please use my link to support me and my effort to get the word out.