2024-03-13 Anxious Var3-Preventing-lead/Introvid
I've been preventing more happiness and relationship closeness by being anxious and polite in bed.
New research shows that's normal. And that it can change!
I just discovered the majority of women (like me) don't ask their partner to do anything differently in bed, even if it's really quite working what they're doing.
Whenever he'd focus on making me feel good, or ask me what I want, I'd get anxious and just end up switching to something I know he liked in order to get out of the situation.
Now, I see this has been a mistake.
It taught my partner I don’t want that. When the truth is that I do want it. In fact I really need it. Just not the exact way he was doing it.
I just found out this is totally normal. And that let me move past it.
In OMGYES, a big sex research project about women - I found out that the majority of women feel this same exact thing and do this same thing!
And the majority of women do this for most of our lifetimes. Until something changes that makes us realize what we like and it's possible to get our partners to do that.
This is a clear pattern that emerged when they asked enough women
The idea behind OMGYES is stupid-simple. These researchers were fed up that there was so much misinformation and bogus sex-tip info out there. They partnered with IU and Yale researchers, and asked 20,000 women what they wish they'd known sooner, found the patterns, and put that on a website.
Here's their intro video:
I had a pretty good grip on what didn’t feel good before OMGYES. But I didn’t have a way of doing anything about it except saying, "lighter." Now I know what to insist on him doing differently. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it really helps me demand more to have thousands of other women backing me up who had the same anxieties and confusions about this stuff.
Worth it?
I’d say, based on my experience, that every single woman and every man who likes women should invest in OMGYES. Like, now. It's a one-time thing where you pay once and keep it. You can go back to it your whole life.
Think of it like a window into the collective things women experience but don't say in bed. And the things we want but don't now how to ask for or even that it's possible to ask for them.
If you do buy OMGYES, please use one of my links to support me and my effort getting the word out.