2024-03-13 Anxious Var1-Video+meme
I wish I hadn't gone so long being so anxious in bed I didn't ever ask my partner to touch me differently.
The truth is, it was almost always too rough, or in the wrong spot, or not something I was ready for yet. He definitely did want me to be happy. But what did I do? I'd end up switching to something I know he likes in order to move things along. Kind of like changing the subject to avoid an uncomfortable topic...
Now, I see this has been a mistake.
It taught my lover I don’t want that. When the truth is that I do want it. In fact I really need it. Just not the exact way he was doing it.
I just found out this is totally normal. And that let me move past it.
In OMGYES, a big sex research project about women - I found out that the majority of women feel this same exact thing and do this same thing!
It was really interesting watching videos on OMGYES of women in their 50s and 60s looking back on experiences that sounded exactly like mine.
What he's doing isn't great?
Just be polite and move things along...
If he's not telepathic, oh well...
Maybe there's something wrong with me...
And the majority of women do this for most of our lifetimes. Until something changes that makes us realize what we like and it's possible to get our partners to do that.
Hitting fast forward on my sex life
The idea behind OMGYES is stupid-simple. These researchers were fed up that there was so much misinformation and bogus sex-tip info out there - and decided to fund the first-ever research into the specific things women find pleasurable.
Indiana University and Yale researchers asked 20,000 women what they learned the hard way that made the biggest positive impact on pleasure in their lifetimes. And they put those insights on a website. Here's their intro video:
I had a pretty good grip on what didn’t feel good before OMGYES. But I didn’t have a way of doing anything about it except saying, "lighter." Now I know what to insist on him doing differently. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it really helps me demand more to have thousands of other women backing me up who had the same anxieties and confusions about this stuff.
Worth it?
I’d say, based on my experience, that every single woman and every man who likes women should invest in OMGYES. Like, now. It's a one-time thing where you pay once and keep it. You can go back to it your whole life.
I also like that buying it is funding more of this research, which helps more people. This omgyes instagram meme said it well:
Think of it like a window into the collective things women experience but don't say in bed. And the things we want but don't now how to ask for or even that it's possible to ask for them.
If you do get it, would you please use one of my links to support me and my effort getting the word out? I hope you get lots from it like I did!