Turns out: the thoughts that get in the way of sex for me are things most women think.

I.U. and Yale researchers talked to thousands of women, and found not just the thoughts that hold us back, but also the most effective, practical things women and partners have done to squash each kind of worry. They’re such obvious techniques once you see them. They put all the findings on a site called OMGYES.

Women - I want you to see all these patterns in what we experience, recognize them and feel the ‘I’m not crazy’ relief I felt.

Guys/partners, treat these like a super-honest window into thoughts most of us slip into, but don’t tell you. And please learn and do these simple things that actually work to help us get out of our heads.